Everyday, we would encounter the use of 'words of wisdom' (damn, my teacher was right. It was something worthwhile to learn!), whether we use them or another person uses them.

But do you know what ticks me off so bad that I wish decapitating a human being in public, in broad day light is a community service? Is when someone gives me 'word of wisdom' that contains the word SOMETIME.
Example:-
"Sometimes people are like tea, they show they character in hot water"

(This entry was written a while ago and I haven't got the chance to publish it until today)

Six little letters, one huge concept to understand...

Do you know that the hardest thing for a person to do is change?

I am not talking about change of outfit nor coins, but change of attitude and perception...

Every New Year, we would hear about people making resolutions on this and that. They would set their goals and strive to make it a success. And it made me thinking, why do we need to have a once-a-year resolution to change ourselves; to reevaluate our goals and renavigate our objectives?

Then it struck me that perhaps that change is something so terribly hard to accomplish that people would use this once-a-year opportunity to muster all their strength and will to actually carry out the change. And perhaps the idea that almost everyone is doing it gives them strength and confidence to make it happen. Almost like a 'support group'. It's like 'WORLD AGAINST HIV', except not against some plaguing virus, but a plaguing state of mind. But the thing is, I think as humans, civilized humans with free will, I might add, shouldn't we be reevaluating ourselves and making our life better ALL THE TIME? It shouldn't be a once-a-year event...

Maybe, that's the catch, with resolutions we can 'unburden' ourselves with the idea of improving ourselves everytime. We can make it an anual event and consider ourselves as conscience-obidng, responsible individuals.

A little flashback; I used to say to my friends (who were a tad younger than I am) that if I can only 'transfer' the experiences I had when I was in the States to them that they wouldn't be living their life as they currently do. Perhaps, what I am trying to say is that if they can change their perception on life and living, they could achieve much, much more. But that might be the pinnacle of the problem itself; how can a person change, or know any better, if they don't have the experience nor the knowledge of what a 'Meaningful Life' truly means. I am not saying that the Americans are superior to Malaysians in any way. But if a Malaysian, who's equipped with our diverse culture and identity could assimilate Americans love for knowledge he or she could really make a significance to himself/herself and the world.

Being fair, I am not negating the fact that there are people who would like to change; who know what better and a 'Meaning Life' truly means but have not the strength nor the courage to change. To these people, all I can say is I truly understand, I am here if you need me, and it doesn't mean that if I don't see any changes on you that you're not longing for a better place to be. I am not judging you. Just please acknowledge my limitations, I can only analyze what I observe.

I realized that I've not updated my entry for quite some time now. It's all because of my work. (I have successfully installed QMail-LDAP, by the way. Honestly, it's gratifying when you're able to finish such a challenging task)

Enough of that... Let's get to the point of why I am writing today...

Every morning, as I head to work, I am captivated by people who shares the same objectives as I do, as they head to work, with their cars, and their children, and their spouses. Then again, there it is, the Petronas station where all the taxi-cabs queueing to get their tanks filled...

Honestly, I think it is great that the government is showing their care and concern for the environment. The idea of making it compulsory for the taxi-cabs to use LPG (light petroleum gas) is something to be proud of. However, did anyone, even think for a minute what's REALLY going on for these tax-cab drivers? Please allow me to paint the picture for you...

1) Do you know that there are about less than 20 gas stations all over Kuala Lumpur that serves LPG? And we are not talking about dedicated LPG gas stations; we are talking about LPG AND Petrol gas stations.

2) Do you know, on average, a taxi cab driver has to wait for about an hour to get his cab refilled? I would sometime see that the Petronas in Segambut swarmed by these red hooded cars waiting for their turn, to get their tank's worth. And sometimes, when the queue gets too long, they'd park their taxi-cabs out of the gas station premise, on the side of the road, thus creating traffic congestion. I mean, who's to blame here?

3) Do you know, on average the a taxi-cab in Kuala Lumpur needs to be refilled at least 3 times a day? 3 times a day X an hour of waiting each = 3 hours of waiting a day? Do you realize how much money they can earn in such a time?

Quite frankly, this is absurd. Not only to the taxi-cab drivers, but also to the people the likes of me who actually respect and care about the earnings of such people. These are the people who makes our lives easier by providing us transport everyday. Nonetheless, they have to make a living, but to make them go thru such a hassle to earn a decent living, is a form of opression. Not only that the taxi-cab industry was selectively picked to use LPG (I mean, come on, if you want to make it mandatory, make it mandatory to the whole fleet of automobiles), but to have them go thru all that hassle is a form discremination. I hope something could be done to help these people. Just imagine if that's you. Just imagine how terrible it must feel for them to be told what to do, and by obeying law, be forced to go thru such a dillema. And all of that for what? To earn a decent living.

Enough said...

Often times than not, my mind would wonder, discriminating every nooks and crannies of my life. And even more often, I end up wanting, wishing for something better for myself. It's a motivator really, but if boundries are not defined, I could easily walked past desire into torture.

I think, for people the alike of me, we should have a mental 'time out' from chasing our goals so that we could actually see what is behind us. More importantly, what is in our hands...

For the time being, these are in my hands:-

1) Freedom and independence - I am making it on my own, without any help from anyone (save a few minor favor from friends every now and then). I don't have people telling me what to do, where to go, who to see... (I really hate that. I hate not to have some control over my life)

2) Sanity and happiness - I am not on the verge of hurting myself or others. I don't have anything to worry about everytime I go to sleep.

3) Decent health - Heck, my health couldn't be any better!

4) A job that I actually love - I really love my job. I couldn't ask for anything better. I travel just enough to make my time in front of my computer bearable. I got to meet people. I got to learn gazillion of things. I got to work with the most wonderful people, ever.

5) People that are in my life, that I care about - For quite some time, I missed this part of life. Being able to balance work, family, love life and my self nicely.

And for that, Syukur Alhamdulillah...

And now, time to move on. I would end up in trouble if I settle too long in this 'time out' zone. Wouldn't want to be stuck here for all eternity...

Enough said...

I was watching Queer Eye for the Straight Guy last night ( the one with the 66-year old guy. I believe his name was John Kilcooley, or something ). And it got me thinking...

The show goes on with Mr. Kilcooley going for a cooking class, then a dance class, followed by a physical exercise class. What caught my attention was how nice and affectionate the people around him interacted with him. The ladies, in particular, was rather 'charmed' by this man. And they were, before the show, nothing more than mere strangers to each other.

Then, I asked my self, why is that? I am a man, and so is he. And, here I am, terrifying the female counterparts of society. Honestly, I think, I come out as rather intimidating to the ladies. Once, I was lost in the heart of Kuala Lumpur and decided to stop by the side of this shop and halted a lady to ask for directions. To my surprise, the response I got for saying," Excuse me, Miss...", was a good whack from her with her handbag. She'd then apologized and explained to me of her actions. Apparently, I was attacked because she thought I was about to attack her! Horrified by her statement, I was speechless for a few seconds. After mustering every ounce of self-dignity left on me, I thanked her and left the scene. It made me thinking though, whether I have the appearance of a mugger, a rapist, or even a serial killer such that I deserved to be beaten by a lady in broad day light!?

Relating to Mr. Kilcooley, a man who was not only loved, but also welcoming enough that the ladies were hugging and kissing him. They took him in into their 'personal space'. That was how was he accepted by female strangers...


Perhaps, the difference does lie in the appearance, after all. I mean, we do share the same XY genetic make-up, but the extra make up I put on when facing the society is of the colors of self-reliance, aggression, and coldness. These additions, while making it easier for me to adapt to society, does bring the expression of detachment, conceit and intimidation to the people I come in contact with.

Perhaps, I DO deserve that smack, after all... Thanks lady, wherever you are... I am just glad that you're a 'lefty' and the umbrella was in your right hand...

Enough said...

Can someone help me? I need to get myself one of those powdered mosquito-larvae-cide things or more commonly known as 'Ubat Jentik-Jentik'. Where can I get one?

Oh yeah, and as keeping my promise:-

Kak Nida (Hasnida Ghani) is the coolest person on the planet.
She is smart, beautiful, funny and makes a good companion.
She makes the world goes round.

p/s: Her phone number is made available upon request.

Well, most of you have learned by now that the Malaysian government has increased the tax on cigarettes by 28%.

For a smoker like me, not only that the news is making me angry but to hear all these people comment on how that the increment is reasonable is driving me over the edge of my sanity.

Some of them said that it is a great way to discourage people from smoking, because smoking is endangering the smokers' health.

My comment is, how about trying this for a change - STOP SELLING CIGARETTES AND STOP ISSUING RETAIL LICENSE!! If there's no cigarettes to buy, there would be no threat, now, would there? So, please don't give that crap that the government is doing this because they care about our health, 'cause the truth is they don't!!

Some of them said that it is a great way to help the economy since cigarettes are luxury items that would reasonable to be taxed. This would greatly help the income of this country and maintain 'economic stability'.

And my comment is, how about this - STOP THE SUBSIDIARY PROGRAMS ON PETROLEUM!! We spend billions of dollars to put a lower price tag on our oil so that we can afford to power our vehicles. Nonsense!! What we are doing is basically trying to avoid the unavoidable. We currently are one of the countries in this world which has the lowest price on petroleum. For what are we doing this, exactly? By having a lower price for our oils, more people could afford to use cars. Have you seen the traffic in Kuala Lumpur nowadays? I wonder how much of a nicer place Malaysia would be if half of those nuisance disappear!! Use public transport for crying out loud!! What pisses me off is when seeing all these cars with one occupants each!! What a waste of money and resource. And hey, maybe with less vehicles on the road, maybe we can cut down our pollution, and wouldn't that, too, is great for everyone's health? I wonder...

Enough said...

Star Wars - Episode I - The Phantom Menace.

I chose to quote from one of my favorite movies to potray what I've learned recently, that hate WILL lead to suffering...

One may smack my head for saying the obvious but can someone honestly say that when one is being angry, that one realizes that one is being angry?

Precisely.

One should have this mantra ready as reminder, that, altough, with all the hormones rushing all about, we should have the restraint, to evaluate and choose, to continue being angry or not. Why? you asked? 'Cos being angry for something insignificant is a waste of time and sanity.

On a more recent occasion, I was so mad at someone that it took the whole weekend to calm myself after eloborately orchestrating a revenge in my head. It was such a beautiful picture, Mona Lisa would be another drawing you'd put on the fridge, next to your six year old son's drawing. To make matters worse, the vengence I had in mind was so intricate that it took hours off my sleep. It was out of my exhaustion that I reliazed that I was being mad at this person for nearly a week and I had done nothing to actualize my plans. Reason? There's nothing to be mad about in the first place.

When some one returns the favor of your attention poorly - stop paying attention to them. Pay attention to people that really matters - yourself, your family, your friends; YOU DO NOT KILL THEM...

When some one returns the favor of your time poorly - stop spending time with them. Go shopping, catch a movie, get a massage; YOU DO NOT KILL THEM...

But that's me tho, I am someone who takes other peoples' shit and crap to a point I'd blow and make armageddon look like a holiday cruise... I'd say things that only a super-villain would say to an old lady dying on the bed... I guess I would hurt myself the most when I invest my resources on someone and I feel like they treat me like trash. Yeah, when I really like a person, I really cherish and pamper him/her, I really do flatter them with no holds barred. But when I really hate some one, I honestly feel like wanting to end their life with my own two hands. But you know what? I guess I need to start saying no.

No, I don't want to spend time with you when I am not sure how you'd return the favor, when I need to use my time on me.

No, you can not have what I have when I am not sure you'd do the same for me, when I need to use my belongings to maintain my sanity.

I think it'll work out 'cos I am really tired of this I-flatter-you,you-ignore-me,I-hate-your-guts,I-end-up-tired cycle. Say no when appropriate and when things don't go as well as planned, it might be for the best they didn't.

Life is too short to be angry all the time - American History X.

welcome,


and make yourself comfortable. I am currently trying to incorporate my blog into my site, hopefully, seemlessly.

feel free to drop me a line.

please allow me some time to reply your comments or answer your question, k?